Thursday, December 13, 2012

Super Women Series Part II

My next super woman is a friend from high school. We didn't start out as friends but a trip to the Head Mistresses offices together, where I was accused of being racist and I clearly explained that my verbal abuse towards my now bestie was not because of her skin color but it's smell, left us as firm friends. You see my friend was raised in a different culture than me, where women are suppressed and with 5 brothers, so things like personal hygiene and the use of deodorant where not taught in the home. I suppose I became somewhat of a mentor for her and we had a mutual respect. This "incident" changed her and me, I got to see a little of how someone could live in your same country and yet be so very foreign. She was never allowed out and so I went to her house to visit, not being able to fathom the seclusion. People rushed around and waited on me as I sat in the front, fancy guest room. Boys were not allowed in the room where the girls were. I was brought food always and treats and they seemed honored to have this "white girl" in their home. I was later, a guest at her wedding where I helped prepare her for her groom. A five day affair with lots of wailing aunts. Very traditional for her and yet completely foreign to me.
My super woman friend went on to University and became a Barrister. Very highly respected in a London Court. I once implied how smart she is and she was clear that I was much more intelligent than her but she had nothing to do besides study and that was why she is where she is. Why is she a super woman to me? Well once she had fallen in love and was about to be married, she was informed that her husband to be was actually already married! Shocker, I know. He had an arranged married when he was just 15 years old to a 13 year old who lived back in Pakistan, basically a slave to his parents. He visited her 2 weeks each summer for then next 5 years out of duty and here he was now, in love and with a dilemma. To cut a long story short, they got married, It is allowed in there religion. So now there are 3 kids over in Pakistan with little education and 2 very successful in business, married people who are filled with compassion for this poor girl who's youth was taken and who's future is not so bright and her 3 children. They decide to bring them over to England and set up a situation, kind of how I envision polygamist, sister wives, at least the ones who look normal and not the prairie dress wearing ones, without the bedroom hopping. The hubby stays with my friend, every night and they 2 kids together. The other "wife" is more like a house keeper and takes care of all the domestics. (it is unspoken EVER if she has any kind of relationship with the husband) She is a lovely lady and lives with gratitude for her life and blessings. She treats me like a queen when I am there.
I love My friend and have so much respect for her. She is a practicing Muslim and represents her religion well. I have seen her fast for Ramadan on hot days where she almost passed out through lack of water and I have seen her always dressed modestly with a head scarf to boot. She emplifies the light of Christ holds no guile, I am drawn to her for that. It impresses me that she has maintained such tradition and respect for her fathers house and yet is making it as a big wig in a man's world. She is hands on with her kids, all home work and school responsibilities are on her and she travels with them all over the world to teach them history and culture and like a proper nerd she is all excited about ruins and just like our kids she is greeted with the same eye rolls and "Muuuum seriously?" Super Woman number 2.

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