Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Point Break

Have you ever wondered what your breaking point is?
I've been taught, that we will not be given more trials than we can handle but as I have watched one adversity be piled on top another, I do ask, "are we there yet" I've even wondered how people walk away from church forever.

It became apparent to me today that, that statement was not true. That actually we would be pushed to the point of breaking and our very faith will be shaken out of us.

And so my Son sits alone, heart broken and spirit broken, sobbing on a plane home from Virginia. There will be no crowd or balloons waiting for him at the airport, there is no celebration for a medical discharge or partial service. Just an underlying tone from our surroundings that he couldn't hack it. He will live forever with disappointment that he didn't finish what he set out to do.
What waits for him is uncertain. There will however be a Mother and Father who love him unconditionally and who have not and will not forsake him in his time of need.

Where is my maker now? He promised to take care of him. Were our prayers not good enough? Was our faith and trust a signal to say, Hit me again ,I'm strong enough and I liked it?
Well how do I go on?
All I asked was to comfort him, give him peace. He prayed constantly for that peace.
But it never came......
His name was in the Temple, faith and prayers of many others.
But it never came.....


What loving parent wouldn't comfort there own child?

7 comments:

Nurse Heidi said...

I'm sorry Natalie. There's nothing particularly "right" to say, except for that. Love him like crazy, because he's going to need it. And realize that a trial of faith is not a sign of anyone's failing.

Marianne said...

Oh Natalie! I don't even know what to say! My heart is so so sad for you. And your sweet boy! I'm so sorry.

So many prayers and hugs for you all.

Julie said...

Know my heart is with you too. I'm so sorry.

The Blackham3 said...

I LOVE you and your family. I am here. {{{HUGS}}}

Alonna said...

My heart breaks for him. I wish his pain could be borne by me instead. He is so young to feel such stress.His Heavenly Father does love him, & has His own plan for Curtis. I'll pray for peace in his heart, to trust that the Lord will disclose what path is best. Curtis has a Gift to reach out to others;I have felt it in his presence.Assure him that he is loved and prayed for by many.

Alonna said...

Natalie,
I shall pray for you also;you are hurting every bit as much as your son. When extreme garbage hit's us, it is so hard to have faith. We feel that God has forsaken us; after all we have done to prove our love to Him. I sure don't have life sussed,so, i've no place giving advice,but, to say nothing would be the bigger sin for me. Please, please have strength & faith that there must be a greater picture.You have his smiling face with you every day. Even when it hurts so bad that you want to end it,Life is so good.
Love and Prayers...

Alonna said...

Just visited the Poetry website & wonder if Curtis remembers the quote by George S. Patton,near the top. " I don't judge a man by how high he climbs, but, by high he bounces when he hits bottom." Am sure Curtis bounces very well...