Missing My boys.

Home School

I thought it was about time for another room makeover. This time is not technically a room but a space I found and re purposed.

My sweet little Asha has really struggled in school and for all her hard work and efforts, was just not progressing. I was told many times to not stress and that she would get it, things would just click and I had to feel confident that the trained professionals knew more about my baby in this instant than I did.

Lesson- trust your mother gut!!

After neurological testing, she was diagnosed with severe dyslexia and performance anxiety, which I always thought was just shyness but apparently it is linked to their fear of failure. Imagine trying for hours a day, to memorize simple words, that ALL of your friends can read and spell and knowing you WILL get them wrong :( My heart hurts just thinking about it.
Anyway, after gathering tons of info from experts, I am full of hope, that with a special method of multi sensory training, an awesome tutor and gobs of effort on hers and my part, that Asha will be able to read and function in a classroom eventually. 10% of people suffer with some form of "learning disability" I hate that term but that is how it is described.
(Just for kicks, here's a list of successful people with dyslexia:
Einstein,Tom Cruise, Richard Branson(virgin Atlantic)Charles Schwab (bank)Winston Churchill, Jon F Kennedy,Tommy Hilfiger, Andy Warhol, Cher, Jackie Stewart (racecar driver)Kiera Knightly to name a few.)

So for now, Asha and I will be working together at a "home school" to fill in the gaps of the past 2 years and get her on track with learning. It was not my plan to be "that" Mum, with baby strapped to breast, walking around in tie dye, keeping my kids from the worldly clutches of society but after attending a home school conference I realized there are many just like me, that had to seek an alternative to the "one size fits most" way of learning. It is a blessing that I have the time and means to do this and that's why I am painting.
This "school" required a space without distraction, with room for books and curriculum. I found it in a dark loft area at the top of our stairs.

We started by adding a sunlight tube which is incredible. It adds daylight where a skylight wasn't an option. I painted a very light bright blue then added storage (gotta love IKEA, although I miss my girls trips to Cali)


Then I used a method that I learned about designing spaces to fill it with things that would inspire. For Asha that is artwork so markers and crayons, plus to finish off, the most comfy chair in the world for reading. Asha and I sat on every chair in every store and this was her pick. I was thrilled since it's so cool looking.



If your still reading this extremely long post, I would like to explain dyslexia in brief.

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It is not simply reading backwards.

What side are you on?

I realize there are two sides to all stories but in this case, I only know one.
English People in America, fought for independence, Won and I get to have several days of eating fried carbs without guilt and lots of fireworks and lets face it, who doesn't love fireworks. ( Hobbs that's who, poor puppy had to be in the basement in his crate with a blanket over him and a loud movie on)

So why my lack of British pride you wonder on such a holiday. Well I grew up in the great country of England with all its pleasantries and traditions. We are not huge on flag worship, unless it's some Royal Affair or of course the world cup but still, we have a loyal duty to the Queen and all things British. It is quite a multi cultural place and I had friends of all different backgrounds. I never could understand why one of my best friends, a Pakistani/Muslim, was allowed to wear trousers to school when the rest of us had to wear skirts or why my good buddy in junior school, raised Jehovahs Witness, was allowed to skip assembly, when I had to sit through it in total boredom.

Over the past decade or so I have watched the laws change to accommodate various religious preferences. One of the most ridiculous being that an already overworked nurse, had to turn the bed of a Muslim patient to face Mecca, wait for it, 5 times a day, for prayer!! Not a big deal in Utah but I would guess Pakistani/Muslim are the dominant immigrant in the UK.
I see this great nation trying to go the same way.



So why my racial rant? I am in no way racist at all (everyone says that I know but really I am not) I make my point to my fellow Brits now living in The beautiful free country of America.
It saddens me when I see one of my own refuse to stand to honor the flag or repeat the pledge of allegiance.
I chose to come here. I love it. My family and I benefit from our freedoms and liberties here.

I have said out loud to many an immigrant back home, if you don't like our ways, go back to your home. I feel the same here.

So there, you get to see a little of Natalie, Telling it how it is.
God Bless America, land that I love,
Home of the free and the Brave.

To all who serve for my freedom, including now, my brother in law, who left his wife and 5 young kids to serve in Afghanistan, I am grateful and I will continue to feel blessed in this land.

Life goes on.

Even if it does feel like this sometimes.


If it didn't I would've never made it to 40 and gone here,

With these guys.


I wouldn't have gone here and spent two hours painting a cup and saucer that never returned from the kiln.

I wouldn't have had so much time to hang with this girl

Or these guys



I might've just sulked and let my tantrum continue and not been super happy to have my baby home safe and sound.

Yes, life does go on so I might as well roll with it.

Point Break

Have you ever wondered what your breaking point is?
I've been taught, that we will not be given more trials than we can handle but as I have watched one adversity be piled on top another, I do ask, "are we there yet" I've even wondered how people walk away from church forever.

It became apparent to me today that, that statement was not true. That actually we would be pushed to the point of breaking and our very faith will be shaken out of us.

And so my Son sits alone, heart broken and spirit broken, sobbing on a plane home from Virginia. There will be no crowd or balloons waiting for him at the airport, there is no celebration for a medical discharge or partial service. Just an underlying tone from our surroundings that he couldn't hack it. He will live forever with disappointment that he didn't finish what he set out to do.
What waits for him is uncertain. There will however be a Mother and Father who love him unconditionally and who have not and will not forsake him in his time of need.

Where is my maker now? He promised to take care of him. Were our prayers not good enough? Was our faith and trust a signal to say, Hit me again ,I'm strong enough and I liked it?
Well how do I go on?
All I asked was to comfort him, give him peace. He prayed constantly for that peace.
But it never came......
His name was in the Temple, faith and prayers of many others.
But it never came.....


What loving parent wouldn't comfort there own child?

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